


it’ll be over soon

by cherrychoke



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, It's somewhere between fluff and angst, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, angst-ish, binders, fluff-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24056485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychoke/pseuds/cherrychoke
Summary: junmyeon gets help from his partner to order a binder.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Kudos: 27





	it’ll be over soon

**Author's Note:**

> please be careful reading this, especially if you're already feeling dysphoric/bad! it ends in a sweet note but still!

They’ve taken all the precautions: checking in with Junmyeon, physically and mentally, to make sure his dysphoria isn’t as bad as other days, checking in with Sehun in a similar manner, Junmyeon’s favourite songs’ playlist, phone connect to the bluetooth speaker. It’s midday, most of their neighbours will be out, and Sehun wears their binder because Junmyeon thinks it might help him focus.

Junmyeon has finished his therapy session, and Sehun’s voice training isn’t today. It’s the perfect day, and Junmyeon braces himself for it.

They can’t work in pitch dark, where Junmyeon can’t look down. No matter how small his chest is, it’s not invisible like he wants. Sehun puts on their white binder first, sitting on the edge of the bed, while Junmyeon fumbles with his hoodie. He’s wearing the boxers Sehun bought for themself, since they don’t mind sharing.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Sehun speaks slower than usual, after beginning their training. It’s nice, hearing the lower pitch. Junmyeon wants to join too, but there are some things which won’t come with just training. Facial hair, for example.

Junmyeon nods. “Better. Are you sure you’re okay wearing the binder?”

“I’m fine,” Sehun switches all the lights off, then turns on a single night lamp. “Come here, hyung.”

Junmyeon easily moves in front of him, takes his phone to text his friend group. Their friend circle are getting more and more gay, and Junmyeon finds comfort in their words. He gets a few ‘good luck!’ instantly, and Sehun is taking his phone away.

“Just for a second,” Sehun assures in a low voice, tugs Junmyeon’s hoodie upwards. “You can look at my handsome face when I’m measuring.”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. He lifts his hands, lets his partner tug the large hoodie off his body, and closes his eyes instead. His body feels tense as he puts his hands down, and not wearing a bra makes the lower parts of his chest stick on his stomach. It sucks. Sehun starts the loud playlist, and it soothes the nervous gut-twist Junmyeon feels. “Make it quick, please.”

“I will, hyung.”

He hears the measuring tape being rolled out, and his partner straightening it out. Sehun didn’t have someone when they were buying their binder, but they did a surprisingly good job with the math and bought the perfect size. He’s a little mad at them for not letting him do that, but it’s probably out of the obvious problem: binders are expensive and buying the wrong one is dangerous.

He feels a tap on his inner arms, followed by, “Lift them a little. Feeling okay?”

Junmyeon obeys. He feels the cold plastic tape around his lower chest. “Okay. Not too bad.”

“Do you want me to tell you a story or something, hyung?” The tape is gone, replaced by Sehun’s nice, warm hand. They caress the spot, mindful of not touching the chest. Junmyeon hears scribbling on paper before the tape wraps around his upper chest. Not the worst part yet, Junmyeon reminds himself.

“You’re not breathing,” Sehun says. “Take a deep breath for me.”

The tape loosens around his chest, and Junmyeon takes a deep breath. Wow, he really wasn’t breathing.

“You can look at my binder, if it helps,” The tape is back again, but not the right size yet. “That’s why I’m wearing it.”

“I know,” Junmyeon relaxes a little. It’s not the worst part yet, he has to keep repeating it in his head. “But they’ll be there, no matter how much I stare at your binder.”

“Fair point.”

Junmyeon’s breath hitches a little, eyes starting to sting with painful tears as the tape wraps perfectly. Not the worst part yet.

“You can look at my pretty face,” Sehun says. It makes Junmyeon chuckle. “It’s the last time I’m offering my pretty face, hyung.”

Junmyeon hears more scribbling. He finally opens his eyes, and tilts his chin up, to look at the ceiling. He almost caught a glance of his chest. Almost.

“That’s not where my face is,” Sehun tuts. “Would you like a kiss?”

Unfortunately, the thought is physically revolting. Not because of Sehun - it could never be them. But because his chest is right there, and he’ll be tempted to look down, to see the horrible, horrible things on his chest.

“No.”

Sehun only hums. “It’ll be done soon.”

Junmyeon hears ‘it’s the worst part’ and grasps on to Sehun’s forearms for support. “Can you talk to me?”

“I watched this animated movie called Corpse Bride,”

Junmyeon feels the tape on his back, he tenses further. Sehun keeps talking about the movie, and what it’s about. They gush about how hot the actual corpse bride is, which makes him forget about this moment altogether. His dysphoria isn’t too bad, but it’s still taking a toll on him.

“It’s over,” Sehun whispers, passes him the hoodie quickly. “Doing okay?”

Junmyeon presses the hoodie against his chest, looks down finally, and sees the black hoodie instead of anything. He takes a deep breath, sighs. “I think.”

“Put it on, let’s get you some chocolate.”

Putting it on is a great relief. He can quickly forget about it and follow Sehun into their kitchen. They open the freezer, takeout two bars of chocolate, pass one to him, and grab Junmyeon’s arm to get him to the small living room.

They both sit on the loveseat, knees touching, legs crossed, and opening the bar of chocolate.

“You did such a good job,” Sehun says before taking a bite of their chocolate bar. “You were so brave, hyung, I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Junmyeon takes a bite of the bar, puts his free hand on Sehun’s knees. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

Sehun leans their head on Junmyeon’s shoulder, moves so it’s more comfortable to do so, and holds his hand, laces their fingers together. “I’m here for you.”

“I know,” Junmyeon lets Sehun take a bite from his chocolate. “I’m here for you too.”

Sehun hums. “I want a kiss when you’re feeling better.”

“Sure,” Junmyeon pursues his lips. “I’ll let you kiss me with your lipstick on.”

Sehun gasps. They lift their head from his shoulder, and look at him. “Really?”

Junmyeon nods. “Yeah. Only once, though.”

“I’ll buy the smudgiest lipstick, in the darkest colour!”

Junmyeon laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> this unexpectedly made me dysphoric i hope you're okay orz. there's so less trans seho i thought i'd fill up some gap ! please let me know if you liked it!!! <3 (also pls be careful wearing binders!!!!!!!)


End file.
